One girl's journey to finding herself, losing weight, getting healthy, and living life... one shenanigan at a time.
100+ lbs lost ..... 30 more to go. Welcome to my world.
Ive absolutely hit my wits end with this boy… and yes, I mean boy. Im so fucking frustrated with his double standard emo bullshit that I can barely breath. The first year and half seemed better… more loving, easy, the highs higher, but the lows were definitely lower too. NOW… its like he’s either flatlined or angry. Every great once in awhile Ill get some wonderful emotion out of him but it absolutely has to be prompted by me… and with great effort. Its like he wont put himself out there without me making the first vulnerable move? UGH!
Today, I asked a very simple thing of him. The band gets emails.. some addressed to us, me, the band… some addressed to all of us from one of us. HEEEE answers any that include me for me. He usually asks me a question relating to the email (of which I know nothing about because Im not constantly checking my email as he does) and then responds for the both of us as a “we.” I hardly ever just get to rock out what I think or answer a question as me… its like Im the egg and he’s the mother hen holding me in the nest? So, I asked, very gently and sweetly btw, that I get to address my own. I told him I appreciated his thoughtfulness and I understood he was just trying to be efficient and help me out but that I thought it was important that I get to have my voice heard. I truly thought this would be met with a I understand hon.. no problem. NOT … SO… MUCH.
This is just one of our many texts:
Him: It just feels to me that if I had answered separately, you could have just as easily taken issue with that. It’s one of those who-the-fuck-knows-a-woman’s-mind, can-never-win sorta things.
Me: I absolutely wouldnt have taken offense to you answering seperately hon. Its not like Im mad or upset.. only voicing something that Id like to do on my own.
Him: The thing is that, no matter what you say, I don’t totally buy into the women don’t just find a way to fuss thing because I don’t think you or most other women do it on purpose most of the times… it’s just part of your natural womanness.
Me: ok, Bri… youre just trying to be offensive now. and I dont like it… I dont go around stereotyping you into a block category.. and on the few times I have you have gotten VERY upset with me.
Him: Anyone looking at it with a lick of sense rather than through a sense of heightened alert would realize that my response came about after discussing the situation with you anyway.
WTF? Everytime we have a conversation like this, he is on the defense? Unneeded defense! Our conversations constantly leave me feeling like my brain was put on the rinse cycle. I love him, I really do… but how the fuck do you talk him down from crazyland?
Last night i started my second round of the P90X vids and Brian started with me this time. OH HOW SWEET RIGHTEOUSNESS IS!!! LOL. Not only did he not get through the dvd… but was literally laying on the floor panting about how he might throw up from muscle exhaustion (this whilst watching me continue to do military push-ups.) Doubt he’ll be talking shit again anytime soon. *big cheese!*
But seriously, its no joke….. chest and arms kicked my every lovin’ ass again. IWAS pleasantly surprised to see that after only one week in the program I could definitely feel a difference from the first to the second week. I was able to do a lot more reps and feel less sore today than last week. YAY!
considering my intermittent sketchy eating and missing 2 workouts, i’ll take it.
I will say that when I look in the mirror I can see some noticable results even after just one week. I dont feel as bloated or puffy as I did before I started the workouts and my stomach and butt look tighter (Brian even commented on how he can see a difference) plenty of motivation to keep going.
Note to self…. No milky starbucks drinks. Yikes.
“Crappafattaccino
Try this recipe: Take one McDonald’s® Big Mac®, carefully remove the wrapper, and place the whole thing in a blender. Add half a cup of ice, milk, and sugar to taste and blend into a smooth consistency. Serve in a tall glass and garnish with whipped cream and drizzled caramel.
Sound crazy? Well, listen to this: a Starbucks® Venti® Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccino® Blended Crème coffee drink has more calories than a Big Mac, more fat than a small order of McDonald’s French fries, and more sugar than eight Krispy Kreme® glazed doughnuts—and that’s before you even spritz the whipped cream on top. Try sticking that in your blender.”
Recipe: Roasted Garlic and Rosemary Sirloin Burgers
Want gourmet grub without steakhouse prices and calorie counts? This easy-to-prepare recipe will dazzle your guests’ taste buds so much, nobody will even notice it’s actually healthy. But vampires, beware!
1 whole bulb garlic, roasted, with papery skin removed
1 lb. ground sirloin (lean lean lean)
1 zucchini, ends trimmed, coarsely grated
2 Tbsp. fresh rosemary, chopped
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. cracked black pepper
4 whole wheat organic hamburger buns
4 slices tomato
4 leaves lettuce
4 slices red onion
Preheat grill or broiler. Combine roasted garlic, sirloin, zucchini, rosemary, salt, and pepper in large bowl. Mix well to combine. Shape into 4 equal patties. Grill or broil (if broiling, use a baking sheet) 5 minutes per side for medium burgers, a bit more or less for well-done or rare.
Arrange burgers, tomato, lettuce, and onion on buns. Makes 4 servings.
To Roast Garlic:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Wrap garlic in foil, place in oven and roast 45 minutes until tender. When cool enough to handle, peel away foil and squeeze cloves from papery skin.
Preparation Time: 20 minutes (add 60 minutes for garlic-roasting process, including preheating and cooling)
Im gonna vent about some shit non weight loss related that really doesn’t matter but has been pissin’ me off for a minute. Don’t get me wrong, I realize that my life is unaffected by the following… but seriously people, are you fucking kidding me? What the hell is going on with people?
Jesse James.
How on earth could you POSSIBLY have made this mistake? OMFG… She’s America’s Sweetheart! She’s Sandra Bullock! and with what? A disgusting Skankarella?… oh, pardon me… LOTS of disgusting Skankarellas? It makes me absolutely MORTIFIED for her that just two weeks prior to this whole media shenanigan, she was thanking her mother for making her good enough to have him (ie Oscar speech.) omg.. the sheer horror of it all …. AND! lemme just tell ya… if I was her and the bitch that banged my husband (#2 of 11) was traipsin’ around L.A. with a “Team Sandra” shirt on? OH..OH HELL TO THE NO. You’re NOT on my team Miss Waste of Space…. You’re on the “Ill do whatever the fuck I want and not care about the irreparable damage I cause” team. You’re on the “I’m so desperate to be famous Ill degrade myself in all ways humanly possible to make it happen” team. I am NOT a violent person… never have been, but I would empty my bank account to watch an angry mob drag her skinny tattoo’d ass off that custom (and prolly comped) West Coast Chopper and pummel her into oblivion with nothing but Sandra Bullock DVDs.
Tiger Woods.
Awww, you poor poor thing? You want us all to feel sorry for you because you’re a sex addict? You want your adoring public to understand that you felt entitled to be a raging tool and carelessly philander around with 14 random women? Sorry dear, not gonna happen. Lets just throw away the fact that your wife is a smokin hot Swedish supermodel AND the fact that you could bounce a quarter off her ass… you. have. KIDS! 2 of them! What the hell were you thinking? What the fuck are you gonna tell your precious daughter when she grows up thinking that her superstar father wasn’t faithful, so all men must not be? You gonna deal with the psychological repercussions of your actions you complete and utter asshat? And seriously… voicemails, emails, public meetings, texts… were you just trying to get caught? or could it be possible that your over-inflated ego has given you some kind of invincibility complex? Well, lemme just tell ya… it is very apparent to all of us out here in common America, that you don’t have a disorder. The only thing you have is an absolute DISREGARD for anyone but yourself. I mean seriously… no one. ”Go hard or go home?”… oh look, now you wont be doing much of either. I hope you choke at the Masters… I hope you have to continue sleeping on that air mattress atMark O’Meara’s because she has bitch slapped you across the face with everything but the kitchen sink. How entitled will that make you feel Mr. Douche Bagger Vance?
Shew… Ok, rant over… Man, I feel much better! lol.
This email I received this morning made me SUPER HAPPY! Avocados are my very favorite food and I love eating them with basically everything. YUM!
on Avocados: The Poor Man’s Butter
By Tony Horton
Every time I mention that I eat four to six avocados a week, I hear all this gobbledygook about how fattening they are. I want to clear up this avocado debate right now. The fat in avocados is monounsaturated. This good fat is part of a healthy diet. It actually helps lower cholesterol. Avocados are rich in vitamins C and E, folic acid, and potassium. They also help your body absorb beta-carotene from other foods. Half an avocado is only 150 calories, and makes a perfect topping on a salad or some of your favorite whole-grain toast. Plus the pit is a giant seed that grows into a gorgeous plant.
Guacamole is a great, versatile condiment. It can be a healthy dip for veggies or a delicious sandwich spread to replace fattening mayo with avocados’ heart-healthy benefits. If you’re storing some for later, make sure you don’t skip the lime juice. The acid from the citrus will keep your guac from turning brown.
4 ripe avocados, peeled and pitted
1 tsp. ground cumin
1 tomato, seeded and diced
1/2 cup sweet white onion, minced
2 chilies, seeded and minced
1/4 cup cilantro leaves, chopped
4 Tbsp. fresh lime juice
Hot pepper sauce (to taste)
Sea salt (to taste)
White pepper (to taste)
Cut avocado in large chunks and mash coarsely in large bowl with fork. Add remaining ingredients and blend gently—leaving some small chunks is fine. Taste and adjust seasoning with more pepper sauce, salt, and pepper if desired. Makes 8 servings.
Ok so, I weighed in this morning and only lost 1 more pound.
Start Weight: 180
Current Weight: 178 Started to feel really upset…. I mean, WTF?, Im working my ass off here! Soooo, in what I thought was a feable attempt to save my self-esteem, I took my measurements. Here are my old and new measurements. HOLY EFFIN CRAP!
on Avocados: The Poor Man’s Butter
